https://craigs.linkgoed.nlhttps://craigs.linkkwartier.nlhttps://craigs.zoekvinden.nlhttps://craigs.uwbegin.nlhttps://craigs.linksite.comhttps://craigs.links.bizhttps://craigs.expertpagina.nlhttps://craigs.expertpagina.beHere’s what I’d like to compare to today: When I was in college (mid-late 70s) people were pretty good at pairing up, even though the Sex Rev was beginning to have an impact, women were going home with Mr. Goodbar, etc. There was still the traditional norm of going steady in college, and most women did not have sex casually. Those who did were branded sluts. So the two hottest people would pair off. There would be several couples like that – golden. And so it filtered on down. I distinctly recall figuring out precisely what my SMV was based on which guys did not flirt back, which guys flirted back, and which guys eagerly asked if they could carry my books. I wound up dating guys that flirted back. And truly, I was attracted to them. I did not long for what I obviously could not have. In my experience, this system worked quite well all around. There were various SMVs represented, even in the Greek scene I was a part of, and assortative mating took place within that realm quite successfully. In fact, the least attractive women in my sorority happily paired off with the less attractive guys – and not only that – they were genuinely sexually attracted.
This is what has been lost perhaps. The idea that you figure out your place, and then select from people in the same range. We did not “settle” – the butterflies were real. I think we wanted relationships, we wanted to date, we wanted to fall in love with someone, and we wanted to have sex. We found the best in people we were well matched to and we made that happen.
This is how I know that attraction triggers are culturally malleable. In my day, a 6 couldn’t get a 10, and didn’t try. But the 6 did get the hots for another 6. Obviously, the unleashing of female sexuality/hypergamy is a factor, but I sense it is more than that. Your thoughts?
40Sai November 8, 2012 at 8:43 pm
@mr. wavevector
“I too proposed another solution – “that young women acknowledge that the emotional investment they want from men is something of considerable value and cannot be coerced nor demanded as an entitlement. Instead, young women should make an effort to find out what men would like in return for their emotional investment, and then offer them that in a mutually satisfactory exchange.”
That’s perfectly reasonable and fair.
(How much submissiveness is enticing? I have no problem with supplying food and sex, but I am the sort of person who when ordered to jump for seemingly no good reason will ask “why?”)
@VD
“I think you’re underestimating the appeal of STD bingo. You might be surprised at how many women respond favorably to an intoxicated man standing on a table and shouting “I need syphilis, are there any women in the house tonight with syphilis?”
Where is that establishment so I can never go there?
41Susan Walsh November 8, 2012 at 8:57 pm
@BB